Life

What I want for 2014

Hi! This year, I wouldn’t even attempt to come up with my list of New Year’s resolutions because 2013 made me realize that if I want things done, I should just go do it. Not that coming up with a list will prevent me from doing so. It’s just that, I am not in the mood to go nostalgic with the past or to contemplate on how my 2014 ought to be.

Anyway, I could say that 2013 and I had a good run, although I hit quite a number of bumps along the way. If there is anything I regret, it is being passive-aggressive in dealing with things and taking it out on my hair. Although, there’s no point in dwelling on that issue. I’ve learned my lesson, now its time to move on.

The point of this entry, really, is to come up with a list (ha!) of what I want for my 2014.

  • See new places, experience new adventures
  • Shoot more photos (in film)
  • Improve chord transition and strumming skills (finally learned how to play the guitar, after all those years)
  • Read more academic books
  • Discover new music to spazz to
  • Formalise, or simply enjoy reading more poems; and
  • Have more fun night-outs with friends

Basically, I want my 2014 to be a series of good WTF moments. I want to experience stories I could tell to my future kids (or grandkids) because what else would be the point of living, right? If not to experience what the world has to offer, whether it be good or bad, as long as it teaches us a valuable lesson.

Now my wish for all of you…

May you enjoy life and take it as it is. If there is anything the past year has taught me, it is to be unafraid of the uncertainties. As for you, I hope you find the courage to be undaunted of the unknown, too.

Cheers to the good life! xx

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Life

Surreal

I’ve only read about moments like these in books. We were drinking our beers, telling our stories, laughing at our mishaps. The night was young and everyone was enjoying each other’s company. Then, we found ourselves walking to the parking lot. We were bound to Tagaytay.

On the road, we played a game. Giving the most baduy terms of endearment, looking out the window in search of brands of cars, describing colors metaphorically. Facebook blue. Shit brown. Smiley Yellow. Period red.

Songs were sang. Oooohhh were added to the lyrics, meant as an inside joke. The original bulalohan place we intended to go to was closed, so we looked for one which was open 24/7. No one was prepared for the coldness in the mountains.

Coffees were shared. The bulalo was served. The steam coming from the pot was a homely sight. We ate, filled our bellies and warmed our bodies.

I slept during the drive back home. I woke up to the empty streets of the city, still groggy from the sleeplessness.

Friends bid their goodbye one by one, until it was my turn.

I’ve only read about these moments in books. I was glad and thankful I was able to live one.

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Life

Bigger than my body

Let me squeeze in a few of my thoughts before I drown myself from the workload that await me since I (sort of) procrastinated during the semestral break.

I was feeling like crap during the past weeks because of… some mistakes that I have committed. These mistakes have haunted me and have brought me an immeasurable amount of stress because admittedly, not much thought were given to my actions. I think it was the ~YOLO~ ruling over my mind, or maybe this is how quarter-life crisis actually feels.

One of the mistakes I have done is cutting my hair shorter as a passive-aggressive way of dealing with my problems. I’ve had short hair during my entire lifetime until last year when I decided to grow it out. I actually loved having long locks. However, recently it seems that I was angry at life and perhaps angry at myself, I took it out on my hair.

Aside from that, I spent my semestral break watching series like Awkward and Breaking Bad instead of doing more productive things like catching up on my Coursera classes or finishing a book. I do not regret finding refuge with Jenna Hamilton and Walter White, though. I guess, I was just not in the mood to process ~intellectual~ stuff.

Now, since life is constantly throwing lemons at me, I might as well make lemonades out of it. Earlier today, I realized that I should stop wallowing in self-pity and depression and instead, thank God for the things that I am able to enjoy now.

  • Like, my co-worker who said that I am “bigger than my body”. Although, I think this person meant is as a joke because I am of the petite frame, this actually holds true. The figurative and metaphorical I is indeed bigger than my literal body.
  • My advisory class who missed me and who would not stop badgering me for answers as to why I cut my hair.
  • For my co-workers who seemed so friendly and caring today.
  • For ~that~ Facebook post, just the kind of push that I need.

I know I have been very vague about what I wrote here but what I really want to say is, everyone feels like crap sometime but things will turn around for the better. I know this, because what else is there to now, right? :)

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Life

Suspension

Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve written something here, eh? I refuse to think that I was busy, but in fact, I was. Although, I am not entirely sure if I was busy because of the right reasons, let’s just say that I was too preoccupied with ~life~ to write about my ~feelings~. Heh.

So what has happened the past months? I celebrated my birthday (and bought myself a bookshelf), got an award at work (awow!) and took risks, a lot of them.

I’m not sure if the risks that I took paid off or will pay off in the long run, but that’s the thing about risks, right? You take them regardless of the outcome, or else they wouldn’t be called risks! For the past years, I have been speaking of living in courage but in honesty, I have not been able to do that until recently. And you know what, stepping out of your comfort zone is liberating! At the end of the day, you could tell yourself that you tried, you may have failed, but you were brave, and that’s all that matters!

On the lighter scheme of things, I have been listening to poetry lately. Yup, LISTENING! I am a fan of poetry since forever, but not of spoken poetry until a co-worker asked me to listen to Rudy Francisco’s I Am Not a Love Poet. From there, I watched spoken poetry on YouTube, particularly Def Jam Poetry videos. I have a lot of favorites but this is the one I want to share with you. It’s called 40 Love Letters by Jeanann Verlee

You are more than I could ever put into a poem.

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Life

Believer

Today is a holiday and I want to write about a lot of things but it seems that I can’t organize them into coherence. I’ve deluded myself into thinking that I’m being productive during the past days but in reality I’m just being preoccupied. I’ve sort of fallen into the routine of things and I am not happy about it. Work-catch a movie-hangout with friends-read a book-eat out. Nothing is exciting and I am thirsty for adventure.

This will end up as a sad entry, so I am leaving you with…

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Music

Take a picture you could never recreate

I want to write about music but, of all the topics, I think music is the hardest to write about. Anyhoo, here is an attempt!

Music is my first passion. I started listening to music during my early childhood days, and up to now, I am still a big fan of music. I mean, who isn’t? Who didn’t get kilig over Eraserhead’s With a Smile? Who didn’t belt their throats out over Heart’s Alone? Who didn’t sing along with the karaoke over Backstreet Boy’s I Want It That Way?

There are so many cliche’s about music, but I think you and I would both agree that music connects, music speaks to us. (Ha! Still a cliche!) Whenever I travel with friends, one of the highlights of our trip is singing our hearts out to what is playing on the stereo. I also like playing DJ whenever we go on a roadtrip. Mostly, I play OPM songs because that is what most of us can relate to, but, nothing beats boyband songs to get everybody in a singing mood. Ha ha. Also, for our iPod (which is in shuffle, btw) to play the song that exactly describes what we’re feeling as of the moment, that is considered to be one of life’s simplest pleasures, right?

So why did I want to write about music? Primarily because, I want to share with you my excitement (or fangirling) about my latest LSS, that is, Atlas Genius’ Trojans.

What I like most about this song is, first, the melody. I was being reflective on the kind of music that I like and I decided that I like the kind that makes me want to dance. Perfect example: Sandwich’s Procrastinator. Very unlikely because it is a rock song, yes? I might write about that, later.

The next (and last) thing that I like about this song is the lyrics. Very predictable things to like in a song. He he.

Take a look
Hesitate
Take a picture you could never recreate
Write a song
make a note
for the lump that sits inside your throat

Fits my personality much, eh? Then we go for the killer.

Take it off
Take it in
Take off all the thoughts of what we’ve been

Change the locks, change the scene
Change it all but can’t change what we’ve been

Basically, I love everything about the lyrics, but if I post all of it, that wouldn’t make much sense. So, to sum it up, I like this song A LOT because it is a sad song, with an upbeat melody! How oxymoronic! Although, if you hear how the last line was sang, the beat fades from being upbeat. Now, to make you spazz over the song as well, here it is.

Your trojan’s in my head.

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Word Play

24/7

Waking up
and seeing you
at that time of the day
when coffees are brewed
and pancakes are tossed
is my favorite memory
of you, of us.

Holding you and
Letting you go
at that time of the day
when cigarettes are flicked
and beers overflowed
is the most haunting memory
of you, of us.

Lying awake
and realizing
(that you are never coming back)
at that time of the day
when roosters crow
and street lights lose their glow
is what hurts the most.

There’s no more you, no more us.

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