Bigger than my body

Let me squeeze in a few of my thoughts before I drown myself from the workload that await me since I (sort of) procrastinated during the semestral break.

I was feeling like crap during the past weeks because of… some mistakes that I have committed. These mistakes have haunted me and have brought me an immeasurable amount of stress because admittedly, not much thought were given to my actions. I think it was the ~YOLO~ ruling over my mind, or maybe this is how quarter-life crisis actually feels.

One of the mistakes I have done is cutting my hair shorter as a passive-aggressive way of dealing with my problems. I’ve had short hair during my entire lifetime until last year when I decided to grow it out. I actually loved having long locks. However, recently it seems that I was angry at life and perhaps angry at myself, I took it out on my hair.

Aside from that, I spent my semestral break watching series like Awkward and Breaking Bad instead of doing more productive things like catching up on my Coursera classes or finishing a book. I do not regret finding refuge with Jenna Hamilton and Walter White, though. I guess, I was just not in the mood to process ~intellectual~ stuff.

Now, since life is constantly throwing lemons at me, I might as well make lemonades out of it. Earlier today, I realized that I should stop wallowing in self-pity and depression and instead, thank God for the things that I am able to enjoy now.

  • Like, my co-worker who said that I am “bigger than my body”. Although, I think this person meant is as a joke because I am of the petite frame, this actually holds true. The figurative and metaphorical I is indeed bigger than my literal body.
  • My advisory class who missed me and who would not stop badgering me for answers as to why I cut my hair.
  • For my co-workers who seemed so friendly and caring today.
  • For ~that~ Facebook post, just the kind of push that I need.

I know I have been very vague about what I wrote here but what I really want to say is, everyone feels like crap sometime but things will turn around for the better. I know this, because what else is there to now, right? :)


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